I just went out with a frend. a Lesbian frend.  When we met she clung to my arms as we walked around Trinoma, she clung in a way which implied that we were actually an item.  I was actually surprised when she first did that, i mean we were very close but this was the first time she clung to me like a girl…After a while of going around the mall, with a tivoli (tibo) around my arm i just had to ask what the hell was up?

“Uhmm, bakit mo ako kinakapitan?  May gusto ka na ba sakin?”

To which she replied.

“Shh, andito mga tropa ko sa opis, gusto ko makita nila ako na may kahawak na lalaki para wag nila mahalata na tibo ako…naiiisyu naku sa opis e…”

Wow, imagine that…i was being used and i didn’t know it. If only she was pretty it wouldn’t have mattered. But i didnt want to be used by an ugly friend!

I said…

“Look this is stupid!  You should just be true to yourself and you should not use me to pretend!  I mean, to be used by another is beyond my standards!  I refuse to be your boytoy to save your reputation!”

And she said.

“Babayaran kita 500 at ililibre sa starbucks…magpangap ka lang…”


I then gave her my arm…and we tried to find her officemates…

Bottom line: its funny how people always have roles to play.  Everyone is an actor, most people spend their lives trying to fit in and pretend taht they are somethign that they are not.  Everyone has reasons to be someone else…or something else.

The challenge of life is to find people where you can just be the real you…no matter what…

Ay we never found her friends…kaya 200 pesos na alng at starbucks ang binigay niya…


Wow!  I’d pretty much would like to talk about something called failure.  Recently i failed big time.  No exagerations here, i REALLY MADE A MESS OF THINGS!!!  Nagkamali na ako before peru this time is talagang sobrang nanira ako ng buhay ng madaming mga tao.  I made such a big mess and and i did this again and again.  I ruined relationships, i ruined peope i ruined everything.  And it was actually my fault.  Kung buhay si Jose Rizal…naiyak siya sa nagawa ko… 

At first i was angry, because i thought that there are always two sides to a coin.  And i may have messed up, but i never did mean to mess up, and everyone was at fault.  I also went to the stage that i hated some people, as in literally hate them na i wish they were dead!!!  Coz mga ***** cla.  Peru…

All in all, when it came down to it, i did mess up…and i was wrong.  Oftentimes we spend so much time focusing on how we were wronged, and we create hundreds of ways to justify ourselves.  In this process of justification we tend to forget the mere fact na nagkamali din tayo. 

We’re usually the guilty one talaga…and sometimes, we do hurt others without really realizing it. 

The hardest person to blame is ourselves…

And when i realized and accepted na nagkamali talaga ako..i entered a stage of depression in which gusto ku na lamang magkulong sa isang kweba at mag antay na dumating si Jesus.  I wanted to never go out and face the world again. I wanted to suffer and suffer and suffer coz i made such a great mistake.  I wanted to die!

The hardest person to forgive is ourselves…

But, God is still good. After all the mistakes i’ve made, there was still space for another chance.  I got an opportunity to move away from what happened and i got a chance to start all over again.  And now..im fine!

I’m happy once more,and i am very careful not to make the same mistakes ive done before.  This time i am constantly praying that i learned my lesson because i’m just such a stubborn individual that i often repeat mistakes over and over again.

the hardest person to teach is ourselves…

Bottom line :

Lahat tayo papalpak…lahat tayo makaka sakit…at lahat tayu magkakamali.  May mga times na magpapaka G@go tayu.  May mga times na magiging adik tayu.  May mga times na masisira natin ang mga relationships natin na maganda dahil abnormal tayu…peru…ganun lang talaga ang buhay.  Dapat bumangon muli, linisin ang ating puso at utak.  Patawarin ang sarili, at subukan muli…

Amen to that…

just sharing

March 2018
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